What have I become

Salaam readers,

As of September 2012, I am 24 years of age. Most people at my age are already self dependent; they have jobs, bought their first car, engaged, married, some even to thyme extent of having children. For me, I have nothing.

I am still living with my parents, I use my parents car as my own, no proper job. If Allah SWT were to take my family away from me at this moment, i would have nothing. Alhamdulillah, Allah has given many family many blessings thus far.

That is from a materialistic perspective. Nothing better can be said about me spiritually either. I am a MUNAFIQ and i am ashamed of it. I regard my pleasures much highly compared to my 5 prayers. I speak of what which is not true (fabricating stories that are of exaggerations of the truth) but yet i have nothing. I betrayed my friends trust as well as betrayed the trust of the ones whom trusted me. And wirst of all, I disrespected the people whom love me all thier hearts my mother, father and fiancèe.

I am upset with myself and I want improvement.

I take for granted my fiancèe, whom love knows no bound, whom sorrow knows no depth. Whom tears I let flow through my immature words and actions. I love her, none shall replace her and none shall share her place beside me. Insya Allah we will build our own family soon. It shall be her and her alone, no one else.

I will speak less...

I will pray more...

I will be more selfish and firm when helping others

I will be selfless when helpingmy family and fiancèe

I will be better than i was yesterday...

Insya Allah